The logical Song

"The Logical Song" by Supertramp






When i was young
It seemed that life was so wonderful
A miracle, oh it was beautiful, magical
And all the birds in the trees
Well they´d be singing so happily
Oh joyfully, oh playfully watching me
But then they sent me away
To teach me how to be sensible
Logical, oh responsible ,practical
And they showed me a world
Where i could be so dependable
Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical

There are times when all the world´s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we´ve learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am

Now watch what you say
Or they´ll be calling you a radical
A liberal, oh fanatical, criminal
Oh won´t you sign up your name
We´d like to feel you´re
Acceptable, respectable, oh presentable, a vegetable!


At night when all the world´s asleep
The questions run too deep
For such a simple man
Won´t you please, please tell me what we've learned
I know it sounds absurd
But please tell me who i am, who i am ,who i am.

weather the storm

Your feelings are like a big cloudy rain storm. It could be big and ugly and violent and it could pass by without a notice with light showers. It is sometimes unpredictable like the weather. You could wake up one day with all the happiness and joy of the world and then some unexpected rain comes in and showers on your bright sunny day. Some days you can deal with the rain and enjoy it on a different level. Others, it brings you down and keeps you unfocused and dreary. I guess like the weather it is all a cycle..and ongoing cycle that never ends. I guess I should try to get use to it but who really likes to get stuck in rain?

Being bored is a disease

I have come to realize that being in the state of boredom is very unhealthy for anyone. When you are bored your enthusiasm goes down you feel like crap and you just feel like there is no reason to live or keep on doing anything because life is so boring. I suffer from boredom all the time and it usually leaves me in a state of depression which is hard TO get out of sometimes. I seriously feel that boredom is a disease. It starts of as nothing and slowly. Then it just gets full blown and takes over your mind, body and soul. You just feel like there can be nothing else as bad as being bored. There is nothing to do , no one to talk to or hang out with just yourself and your thoughts. And who the hell wants to think about all the crap they have to deal with for 8 hours...NO ONE!!. Idleness really is the devils hand and i for one am tired of bring BOREDDD!!

Feeling Strangly Fine

Well, Here i am again in the middle of the work week typing at my workstation wondering when i am going to be getting some really work to do. I saw this move over the weekend called "the science of sleep". It was so weirdddd..but i loved it. It sometimes reminds me of how i see things with out the massive distortion from dreams to reality. But i loved the ending. This dude is obviously mentally unstable but not really harmful. He ends up telling the girl he loves that he loves her because everyone else is boring and she is different. I have said that before to someone else that i had loved and yet still ended with the same conclusion. Lost in a dream world where it never really happens but in my dreams. I cried at the end which i don't know why. I felt bad for the guy. I also felt like this guy is so freaking smart but he is so crazy. I like it =)

Anyway..should see it if you like indie films..if yo don't you will never get it and this it sucks lol!

Ode to my faults

Adia I do believe I failed you
Adia I know I let you down
don't you know I tried so hard
to love you in my way
it's easy let it go


Adia I'm empty since you left me
trying to find a way to carry on
I search myself and everyone
to see where we went wrong


'Cause there's no one left to finger
there's no one here to blame
there's no one left to talk to honey
and there ain't no one to buy our innocence


'Cause we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter
does it matter?


Adia I thought we could make it
but I know I can't change the way you feel
I leave you with your misery
a friend who won't betray
I pull you from your tower
I take away your pain
and show you all the beauty you possess
if you'd only let yourself believe that
we are born innocent
believe me Adia, we are still innocent
it's easy, we all falter, does it matter?
believe me Adia, we are still innocent


'Cause we are born innocent
Adia we are still
it's easy, we all falter ... but does it matter?

Not Ready..

I’ve come to realize that our lives can change literally in a second. That I cannot “wait” for things to happen. Those things that may seem impulsive or random really are the essence of what changes are lives. I feel like I was this kid who was living her life with a false sense of the world. It is like I was in this bubble that kept me thinking that every year that comes will bring me the same thing. I was ready to leave home, I wasn’t ready to have sex, I wasn’t ready to fall in love, and I wasn’t ready to lose my friends. I wasn’t ready for any of that. Then I ask myself what am I ready for? I come to the conclusion that I am never really ready for anything. I am scared and I always feel like I don’t understand why my head constantly thinks of things that don’t agree with my heart. I think every time I ever followed my heart I got hurt but every time I followed my head I advanced to the next step in life but I wasn’t exactly fulfilled. When I am left with these options which one do I choose? Do I choose a happy existence with the worse conditions and lose everyone it he process. Or do I lead an existence with everything I ever wanted but still feel empty inside. Again my head always wins. I wish I could not care about were I end up I wish I never worried about how my life my end up. I wish I could just be random and go for what I truly believe. I am so afraid of failure. I am so afraid of the world and all the evil that is in it. I wish it could all make sense. But it doesn’t.

Goodbye to High School

My life has consisted of hurting people, making people life, lying, cheating, supporting people, encouraging people, and all the above. I am HUMAN! This means that just like eve gave that apple to Adam we all fuck up! Sometime we fuck up to the point of no return...well in terms with people. I Will always be the optimist for other people. Let alone my self. I am Glad that people tell me off and hurt me. I am very stubborn. I am the type of person you need to tell "fuck you" in order for me to understand. I guess i am a type of masochist. Which is sad. Who wants to go around hurting themselves all the time right? Well, that is just me. I am trying to change it. I guess i am somewhat emotionally retarded. I somehow fear that this will continue as i get older. I just can't wait until the day i can become one with my faults. That process has started today. Along with letting go of my Friends from High School. I guess i have hurt them too much. I know i will get over it i just need time.

Yesterday...

It is amazing how some one like John Lennon can touch millions of people that he never knew. And si still presently touching people way beyond his grave. He is dead. He was murdered in NY. He left behind his music, his wisdom and his followers. His music will never be lost. Even with all the change of the tides of music, his music is made up of all the stuff we can all relate to. Since I don’t see human beings evolving into anything yet I believe we will always be able to relate to the same things. Places change, People move, and the world may become more hectic. But the feelings and things that we strive for never changes. Not from you, to me, not from anyone. We all feel love, we all feel hurt, we all feel longing, we all feel goofy, we all feel the great things that make us feel grateful to be in existence. People may be good at hiding it but they can’t hide forever. Their feelings will eventually come back to creep up behind them. But back to what I was saying, I hear the song yesterday and I hear this mans voice and it is like “wow” I can’t believe this guy who is singing this song and touching my soul is dead right now. Yet his voice and his words are soothing me and mixing my emotions and yet he is not even alive right now! That is a great feeling. I just hope to be like that one day. To be able to Leave something behind that will make others think of me for time after time. I will. I just need to find my niche. =) Thank you John Lennon and the Beatles!

Tuesdays..so far from fridays =(

I guess if you can handle going to work on monday then you are almost over the hurdle until wednesday when it will be the middle of the week. Yet on tuesdays! it just feels like an extension of monday! You know i think it is funny how The Living End made a song about the days of the week. The Days of the week really do affect people. Mostly those who don't have a fuffilling job yet...aka..me! My job has been moving like a snail in terms of work and i am just left here chatting on blogger once again to fill up the time until i can go home! It IS ONLY 1:30!!! omg...why must time go by so slow. I wish i could go home and sleep and come back for an hour left >=) Oh well, here are some lyrics from that living end song you might enjoy~

Long Live the Weekend
by The Living End

Workin' for a man that you don't understand so forget it
Spendin' all your dough yeah you know as soon as you get it
Wastin' your time on an assembly line you want out of it
Pickin' up your pay at the end of the day and get out of it
And get away

Cause you're wonderin' if it's gonna change
Cause the weekdays are the same as always never changing

Make a break, another escape
I gotta get out, I gotta get out
Make a break, another escape
I gotta get out, I gotta get out
Long live the weekend

Monday - don't want to get out of bed
Tuesday - I'm walking with the dead
Wednesday - never felt so wrong
Thursday - takes twice as long
but Friday, i know where I'm gonna be
Faraway from the same old everyday ordinary

Make a break, another escape
I gotta get out, I gotta get out
Make a break, another escape
I gotta get out, I gotta get out
Long live the weekend
Long live the weekend

Week in, week out [repeat lots]

Well I don't care if i don't get paid
I can't sit here for one more day....
Wasting away

Well now you're wonderin' if it's gonna change
Cause the weekdays are the same as always never changing

Make a break, another escape
I gotta get out, I gotta get out
Make a break, another escape
I gotta get out, I gotta get out
Long live the weekend

Long live the weekend
Long live the weekend
Long live the weekend
Long live the weekend

Long week...

It has been a long week. I have not been doing anything worth getting excited over in work. Just the same old stuff. I keep falling asleep at my desk, which leads me to taking naps in my car...lol Oh Well. I had the odd idea of using my slow cooker that my grandma bought me for christmas. And boy what i made was GREAT! I did BBQ ribs in my slow cooker and it tastes great. So TENDER!! The meat fell right off the bone. My boyfreind loved it. I went on the foodnetwork for the recipe:


I am so tierdd...I am so glad it is FRIDAY!!...I HAVE A WHOLE WEEKEND TO SLACK OFF!!

HAPPY FRIDAY YA'LL!

Update on Movie and Life

Well, here is a little update. The movie was okay. The best part was the ending when borat is there and he tells the kids "Congradulations.you made move with happy ending"...then a big wheel kills all the kids and he laughs to himself saying "NOT!"..that was funny. Other than that i give it s B- for funniness..it could have been better. I have been writing a lot. I will be posting some of my little diddies...not like anyone would really like them anyway. Oh Well..Oh i drew this at work..i am so bored!!!

Some writings...

Settle
By me =)

Time has passed, time is gone
We will never be the same for long
However much we try
No matter what we say
Things can never go back to that day

Yet I hope and I pray
That one day things will start over
We can live again
Together hand in hand
With out this constant pain
With out having to talk
When the mood is just right
When all the smoke has settled

I hope that I will be there
And that you will be on the other
Side of the clearing
For it is hope that I have left to cling on to
For it is love that keeps me…going?

I may deny it
I may fight it
I may not even believe in it
But when I hear a song
Or I read a story
All I can do is picture you

Yet I hope and I pray
That one day things will start over
We can live again
Together hand in hand
With out this constant pain
With out having to talk
When the mood is just right
When all the smoke has settled

How do you live with yourself?
How can you take it all in and let it be?
How can you continue?
When the world only stops for me and you?

Movie Night

Today my little brother is coming to visit me in jersey. I am thinking in my head how the hell is he going to know to get over here using njtransit...well if he gets lost it will just be a learning experience.We are planning on seeing epic movie and maybe going ice skating. I haven't gone in so long. And i know i suck at it and i last no more than 35 min. Usually cuz my feet end up killing me.

I am so tierd at work. All iw ant to do is go to sleep. But once i get home i am wide awake. Makes sense? I think not!

Well, i will be back on later with my movie review. It has som very mixed reviews. I mean it is suppose to be a comedy so maybe it just isnt THAT funny. well see.

chao

Intro

I am currently 22 years old. A college graduate with an B.S.Business/CIS. I am working as a computer consultant. Basically i do all the dirty work and i do not pay taxes ...until the end of the year =(...I am originally from NY but have moved to NJ to be closer to my job and my significant other. (No i am not gay). I have a loving family..very big..and i have three great Friends that have stuck with my since college. Other than that it is the same as everyone else's sad sorry ha ha. Hope you enjoy the ranting.